The Godly ministers at Landover Baptist Church (Guaranteeing Salvation Since 1612!) have been sending out their newsletters for years, helping save those headed for damnation from falling into the devil's clutches. Making sure that no Christian is left behind, and that all non-believers burn in Hell, Pastor Deacon Fred and his band of merry white preachers share such righteous wisdom as "How children can win a Playstation 3 by accepting Jesus Christ as their personal savior" and "How to prevent Santa from turning Macy's into Neverland Ranch."

Complete with Bible Quizzes, Sacrilegious Sidebars, and mug shots of America's damned, WELCOME TO JESUSLAND! is sure to become a classic of religious and political humor-while cleansing heathens from the Earth (or at least from those pesky Blue States).