How To Read This Book
If you're reading this sentence then you've pretty much got
it. Good job. Just keep going the way you are.

Some Honours and Awards for which Demetri Martin would qualify
National Champion at being the exboyfriend who is most consistently awkward around his exgirlfriend or anyone who is even a casual acquaintance of hers.

A scholarship awarded to Greek Americans who have done very little for the Greek American community but definitely look Greek American, no matter what outfit they are wearing.

Top 40 people under 40 who live in his apartment building.

Lifetime Achievement Award for Wanting a Lifetime Achievement Award.

Congressional Medal of Snacking.