It's come to my attention that the old girl's a little bit past her best. And I can hardly maintain my reputation as a terror of the high seas with bits falling off the boat all the time, can I?

The Pirate Captain is in trouble. Eager to appease his crew with a boat that has a functioning mast, fewer holes and cannons that actually fire, he splashes out on the fancy new Lovely Emma, spending six thousand doubloons he doesn't have. Finding themselves in debt to the beautiful but deadly Cutlass Liz - or the butcher of Barbados, as she's otherwise known - the pirates need to raise some money fast.

In a desperate race against time our heroes embark on an adventure that will take them from the shores of Nantucket to the bright lights of Las Vegas, to the ends of the earth in search of a mythical white whale, and even, perhaps, into the dark depths of madness. But hopefully they'll be home in time for tea.